The Challenge?
An “epic” post that will inspire and generate 50 comments on a post! Digging through the myriad of articles and writings stashed in my creating cabinet, I uncovered things long forgotten that I had made from templates, project instructions or designed all on my own.
There in one such folder was a poem I wrote for my mom and my sisters to celebrate Mother’s Day. Reading through it, I remembered the many wonderful memories of playtime that came flooding back as I penned the verse and how those memories helped shape the mother and grandmother I would eventually become (until the harsh realities of a troubled life would change the path I longed for).
Although we all come from different backgrounds and families, we are more alike in many areas than we are different. It is our relationship to motherhood that forms a common bond in women; whether they will or will not ever bear children . . . we all had a mother to give us life. We played the games little girls play; being ‘mommies’ to our dolls, our pets, our friends, our little brothers even. Those role playing moments gave real insight to our views of motherhood and eventually role playing would become a therapy module for treating broken lives and likewise preparing young women for the responsibility about to face them in parenthood that soon might be their role.
Everyone has a story to tell; do you have memories that you can share as role play, shaping the woman you are today? We would love to hear yours.
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Dear Friends, for some reason this post has attracted some undesirable attention in the past couple of weeks. Therefore, it is necessary to close the comment thread on this post. Thank you for your participation and deeply personal comments.
My mother shaped me. I learned from her how to love with unconditional compassion and put others before myself. Sometimes, I wish she would put herself first though!
Your mother sounds like an amazing woman and one who will be blessed in ways you can’t put a price on. Thank you for sharing her with us.
This is actually a tough subject for me to comment on since I grew up with domestic abuse from my mother. However, it is part of who I am and overcoming it made a stronger person. It has also made an it so much more important to me to be the kind of mother I needed growing up. It gives me hope to know that others have had wonderful mothers 🙂
~adastra @Flexines
Adastra, my heart goes out to you. You are so right about overcoming the damage abuse can do; I had 2 sayings that helped me through the pain of abusive marriage: 1. Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger; and 2. I’ve been to two circuses and a rodeo, I’ll take the rodeo, there’s no smoke and mirrors. It makes me wonder what abuse your mother suffered.
Such a beautiful poem! Thank you for being willing to share it with us!
Thank you, Lora! This has been a wonderful challenge. Sorry for the delay, we had some technical issues on my site.
While my memories shape the woman I am, they are not positive. I can’t complain too much though because the mother I grew up with is a reminder of the woman and mother I do not wish to be so it has made me a better woman and mother! 🙂
I’m glad you have a healthier outlook on the person you wish to become. Everything happens for a reason and if we are teachable, even the bad things can be used for good eventually. Mothers, like us, are products of their past and survival skills, coping mechanisms and social behavior is all related to living what we learned. How do I know? Ask me. Circumstances sometimes force us to guard our hearts and it’s not always pretty. Only a loving God (and he is) can fix a broken heart. See some of my other work on http://www.livingonthepotterswheel.com Hugs to you!
What a lovely poem. I’ve never been very good at writing poetry, so I really appreciate those who can. As a child I used to play school with my trolls. I had some cabbage patch kids and babies, but for whatever reason the trolls were my favorite. 🙂
Thank you Jennifer. My children had trolls, loved them; cabbage patch kids were out of our pocket range. Please forgive the delay in my reply. Suffered some technical issues, hoping they are cleared up.
I’d love to hear what my children, still young (11 and 3), think about the ways that we play and interact with them, and how that’ll shape their lives 10, 20, 30 years from now. Thanks for the thoughts!
You are so very welcome Aubrey. Pray your children will have wonderful memories and that they will write about them.
Such a sweet poem. It really brings me back to when I was young and enjoying time with my sister and Mom. Thanks for sharing!
Great! Those are the best to remember as we get on in years. You are so welcome.
I love your poem, than you for sharing.
Megan, you are so welcome. Sharing it has brought me more blessing than leaving it in my portfolio ever has. That common bond is ever sweet.
I had a tough relationship with my mother when I was younger. When my father passed away when I was in high school, I was able to forgive her and our relationship began anew. There’s a lot I know that she did wrong, but I somehow always knew she loved me. She’s now a wonderful and active grandma in my daughters’ lives and praises me continually on what a great mother I am. 🙂
I’m grateful for your testimony; forgiveness for our faults in raising children is critical to our ability love and heal. Good for you and good for your mother. Thank you for deeply personal reply.
I am very proud of the women my daughters have grown into. They are successful, and nice. they care about others. They treat people respectfully. That is all a father can ask.
Nice to hear from a man’s perspective. It sounds like you are truly blessed and someone has done a good job raising them. 😉
Such a great poem! I always look back to my grandmother who had a pretty big influence on my personality I think.
It is really true Lisa, they really do help shape us into the women we will become. I’m happy you like the poem.
Great poem! I too have many memories from my childhood, most of them with my mom & grandmother since they pretty much were the ones who raised my little sister & I.
Thank you Alison, I hope most of those memories were good ones; the women in our lives have an incredible impact on how we view the world.
Very nice poem! 🙂 I really do appreciate my mom, too, for guiding me.
Thank you Ginger. I’ll bet your mom appreciates your acknowledgement of her efforts. Sweet reply.
My mom is the best, and her mother was an amazing influence as well. I learned so much from both of them.
I love the name of your blog! It would appear you learned some wonderful self-confidence from them as indicated by the name you chose. Good for you!
I really enjoyed your Mom poem 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing that 🙂 I do have nice child memories and share them with my daughter. My 98 yr old grandmother is still with our family and she shares her memories too, and with me, so its quite a nice bond.
Thanks Karen, do you know how rare and how special it is to have a living grandmother who is 98?!! My mind races at the stories she could tell you about the roaring 20’s and the great depression and WWII! Talk about a depository of story data! Treasure every opportunity to listen. 🙂
I will always remember my mother being such a good mommy. It definitely shaped me & the way I will mother one day.
Missy, it’s great to be able to give your mom credit for doing a wonderful job! Good for both of you!
I was a young mother, 21 the day before my first child was born. What my grandmother and mother instilled in me about having children was to enjoy the time you have with them, embue them with your beliefs, and learn to appreicate them as individuals. My children are now 24 and 20, and have grown to be wonderful adults who have many memories that they still tell me they will always treasure. What’s more, we are still enjoying being with one another–albeit not quite as often–and making more happy memories.
Elle
Wonderful memory! Elle, you are very blessed indeed and your mother and grandmother were/are so wise to give you a legacy like this. I am truly happy for you and your children! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Great poem and post, thanks for sharing!
Thank you Michelle, I’m glad you appreciated my poem and I hope you found that common bond for you too.
Unfortunately, most of the stories I remember from childhood were someone being naught in one way or another. Not the stuff I want to pass on to my children. Thanks for making me realize that-I need to dig deeper for stories to share with my boys.
Isn’t is interesting, Michelle, that it is so difficult for some folks to recognize the successful attempts children make. I’m sure you will find some wonderful stories and your boys will share them later.
I love this, as someone about to become a mother….perfect timing!
Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child. It makes my happy to know this is special to you right now! Blessings on your family.
Thats a great question. I was very close to my grandma, but I don’t know who really shaped me. My mom wasn’t really there for me. I hope I will be more “there” for my daughter. I think I just believed God had a plan for me.
Candi, I wish you could see the smile on my face. That plan God has for you is not past tense, He still does. If you learn anything about daughters . . . they want you to validate and listen, to know you are hearing what they are trying to ask or tell you – without being judgemental, but still holding out the boundaries they need to be safe. I hope that helps.
I like how you said we are all more alike than we are different. It’s a good thing to remember. Loved the poem, too.
We truly are Jesi, it helps us to see each other as our creator sees us. Thanks for your sweet comment.
What a lovely poem!! I thank God for my mom and grandmom for getting down on their knees for me so long ago.
Yes, Crisi, no matter how ugly my life got (and it did) my mom and my grandma were my biggest “balconey people”. If you go back to the link where you found my poem and look through that blog you will find my poem “Grandma”. Enjoy!
Oh how lovely and inspiring your poem was to read, Kat! Thank you for sharing it, and your testimony to our King!!! 🙂
Thanks Chris Carter! I’m closer to the end of my life than the beginning and am convicted to make it count (not for me – for my King!)
Lovely post. I actually don’t have any memories of role playing games. No dolls, no ‘mommying’, no taking care of younger siblings or womanly role playing of any kind. It just wasn’t the image my mother portrayed for my sister and I. I do know that I want my own children (if my husband and I are blessed with any) to have more of this sort of childhood though, and I’ve started to become much more aware of my own womanly behavior (or lack of – ha!) and how I want to demonstrate these roles to them.
Sarah, your reply really touched me. Sarah was my Grandma’s name and it is my cousin’s name as well. I hope you get the opportunity to make some of those “womanly” memories. There is a book I highly recommend by Florence Littauer called “Silver Boxes;” it is all about making memories – good and bad. I hope you do read it and let me know if you have questions.
Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing xx
Thank you for visiting. Are you a poet as well? I’m glad you liked “Little Mothers”
Sadly, I suffered brain damage, which wiped out my long term memory, so I really don’t know who or what helped to shape me into the woman I am today. My gut tells me that my grandmother on my mothers side, would have been a very positive role model. I’m guessing, also, that as a young mother, my own mothers example (which was not a good one) helped to make me a better wife and mother.
Well, Libby, you have been through a lot more in your lifetime than many and I suspect there is much more to your story than you are comfortable sharing right now. I read more of your site than the “epic” portion and once again I say we are more alike than we are different. Your writing style is both poignant and funny, and I love your webpage design. Perhaps some of the “stuff” buried with your long term memory would have not have been helpful to you today. Keep the faith and remember – while occasional glimpses in our “rearview mirror” are good; we have eyes in the front of our head for a reason. Celebrate the woman you have become.
Awwww! Love that poem you wrote to your sisters and mom. thanks for sharing.. it made my day
Thanks Sila, it’s always a nice feeling to have made someone’s day!
The poem is lovely! Thanks for sharing. I have a wonderful mother as well and love reminiscing on fun memories from when I was a little girl.
You are welcome Ali, we like to call them magic memories because there is joyful, magical feelings in recalling them together.
I am very thankful for a wonderful mother who has been a great example to me and to everyone she knows of what a mother should be. I have friends who refer to her as their “adopted grandma.” As I get older and realize not everyone is as lucky, my greatfulness grows. It also pushes me to be a better Mom and a better person every day.
That’s what it’s all about, Bethany. ‘Train up a child . . .’ We live what we learn and you are truly blessed.
Its always special to write about a poem about your mother! thanx for sharing!!
Thank you Trista, it is my love to write, my pleasure to share it with you.
That was very lovely! Thank you for sharing with us and sending me down memory lane.
Cheri, I’m glad you enjoyed that little break in wherever you are today! A mini-trip home.
Growing up in a secular family who never believed in me, I’ve learned confidence has to come from within. I have to believe in myself. All of us do. It’s important to lift each other up as we go through this life, but we should not let what others think run our lives.
I’m trying to teach my kids not to focus so much on what others think. It’s natural to do so, but we should not base our decisions on what others think.
Great post!
Thanks Michelle, gracious comment. We heard Les Brown speak at a convention years ago; he said his mother’s words changed his life: “Never let another person’s opinion of you become your reality!” Good advice!
I love playing role as a teacher or a writer.
Me too, Adelien, and sooner or later we find we aren’t just role playing – we become those persons in many areas of or life. 🙂
I am always thinking about my childhood because my kids love hearing about and are always asking questions about it.
Jeryl, you reminded me how much I loved hearing my mom and dad and grandparents tell stories about their childhood. I could hear the same story over and over and never grow tired (unless it was about something I did and got in trouble for). 🙂
I really enjoyed reading your beautiful poem. Thank you so much for sharing that part of you with us!
Thanks Becky! I’m glad you found it worthy of reading. Writing poetry has been the most comfortable way for me to write until recently. Courage comes slowly sometimes.
Simple and beautiful, it really is our common bond <3
Thank you Esperanza, sometimes simple says more than we think about. It’s hard to always be a good mother and role model, that’s what grace is all about.
it is really interesting to see how our children view ‘us’ when they role play. I often look at my daughter and think….”do i really do that?!”. They are sponges…they act what they see…and we need to be careful of that!
Catherine, yes we do need to be careful! 🙂 . . . sometimes they even embellish what they see. Thanks for commenting.
Lovely poem Kat. It’s always amazing to see our kids role playing and how clearly it reflects us as parents. I have very fond memories of my childhood, and sincerely hope my kids are creating fond ones of theirs.
Thanks for your reflection, Jill, while we don’t want to “live” in the past, it never hurts to share good things we have learned.
Your poem is very lovely. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Thanks Rachel! Only recently learning to let others in to “see me”.
AWESOME!!! All because we know JESUS!! He is so great and this poem is wonderful.
Thank you Jen! It is only because of knowing Jesus that I can write at all. Glad you like it.
I always pay special attention to how my daughter role plays. I know she learns it directly from me 🙂 I always worry that I’m going to hear something I don’t like, but so far so good. Phew 😉
Jenna! I love what you said here and I totally identify. Our children are like little video recorders, they don’t miss anything.
Such a lovely poem and post. My childhood wasn’t ideal but I do have several fond memories and stories that I get to share with my kids. I hope that we are forming tons of memories for them as the years pass.
Thank you, most of us didn’t have ideal childhoods, some even tragic, but the good news is there is still time to make new memories for not only our children, but for us. I have found God faithful to heal even the deepest hurts.
Your poem is absolutely beautiful. It took me back to my childhood, as well. Thanks!
Good Morning Alli, There are so many precious things to celebrate about our childhood; this was a joy to write. Thanks for visiting both my blogs. 🙂
Thank you Tanya! This is a wonderful opportunity to look through much bigger window of bloggers and the variety in our group is exciting.